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Within weeks, anyone buying a knife online in UK will be banned from having it sent to a residential address, under a government crackdown following a surge in street stabbings.
Of course blaming knives is easier than blaming the woolly mammoth in the room: police budget cuts, closing of police stations and less officers on the streets… which by the way aren’t even armed.
So, bad news for our friends over in UK, no more buying knives online and having them delivered to your home. As we all know, buying online is the best way to not only get good prices, but good products as well. Being stuck to whatever happens to be available in the closest brick and mortar store sounds downright depressing. You rarely find anything better than overpriced cheaply made in China junk. And when you find something made by a good manufacturer, the prices are easily double or triple what you would pay online.
They are also updating the definition of a flick knife to “reflect changing weapon designs”. Who knows what they mean by this. Ban one-hand-open folders, assisted opening folders?
Also, there’s a complete ban on “Zombie” knives, making possessing them illegal everywhere, even if you just bought it and plan to keep it in your home.
Now this has to be, by far, the most ridiculous piece of legislation I’ve ever come across. And that’s coming from someone that spent most of his life in Argentina, so yes, it’s that terrible.
In over 30 years of collecting, using and studying knives, reading books about knives, writing a fair bit about them and honestly enjoying the hobby I’ve never come across a “Zombie” knife. You know why? Because such a blade design simply does not exist. There’s bowie knives (lets not open that can of worms as of what IS a Bowie knife) there’s machetes, there’s folding knives of all sorts, karambits, but zombie knife is a completely fabricated term.
But what do they mean by “zombie knife?
Well, here’s the closest thing to a description I could come across:
“Also called “zombie killer” knives, they are ornate blades sometimes printed with skulls or toxic-warning symbols inspired by horror films. The ban specifies a zombie knife has a cutting edge, a serrated edge and “images or words that suggest it is to be used for the purpose of violence”.
So it’s a knife with a cutting edge (that’s all knives, ever) …. A serrated age (that’s also, like every knife in every kitchen of this planet) and/or some silly drawing (and that’s just stupid).
And here’s a pic of some “zombie knives”
Confused? Of course! There’s no such thing as “zombie knives”.
There’s a $3 axe, some cheap throwing knives, some larger knife and a cheap generic folder. All rather cheap looking I must say. They all just happen to have “toxic green” colour somewhere. So they are keeping people safe by banning knives that have bright green fluorescent colours then. Got it. I wonder how much they paid the “knife expert” they consulted with to come to such a bright decision.
Here’s the official press release.
Well done boys! That will stop criminals from buying better made large 12″ chef knives,used in slasher horror movies and sold in literally every supermarket across UK… right? No?
Fernando “FerFAL” Aguirre is the author of “The Modern Survival Manual: Surviving the Economic Collapse” and “Bugging Out and Relocating: When Staying is not an Option”