- Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President’sname in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Got spring gardening fever? So do we. That’s why this video by TGN blogger Scott Sexton strikes such a chord. Plus, it’s hilarious … and who couldn’t use another chuckle in their day?
Trust us … do yourself a favor and press “Play” now. This is too funny to pass up:
Then, leave us a note in the comments section and let us know: What seeds have you already planted (whether indoors or out) for your spring garden?
FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
I’M STAYING RIGHT HERE.”
CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS
IN ECONOMY AND WON’T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
I’M STAYING RIGHT HERE.”
WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON’T LISTEN TO REASON.
A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE.”
SORRY.” AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY
“This I gotta see,” replied the agent. With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.”
“Have a safe trip back to Chicago.”
“Thanks!” he said. “But how did you know I was from Chicago?
“The agent replied, “I recognized Obama in the middle.”
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said ‘I would have gotten out today.’
Dark Humor and Coping Mechanisms Micheal Kline “Reality Check” Audio player below So most of you out there love a good laugh. It makes us feel good. We can forget our troubles for the moment. Have you ever wondered if humor can go too far? What happens when humor crosses over into a darker area? … Continue reading Dark Humor and Coping Mechanisms!
— A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.” Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.” A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, “Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!”
‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,
I informed him. ‘All the food was slow.’
‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’
‘It was a place called ‘at Home,” I explained!
‘Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.
I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).
I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called ‘pizza pie.’ When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. My
brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 AM every morning.
On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change.
His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for
everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?
A daughter is visiting her father and is helping in the kitchen.
She asks: ” Tell me dad, how are you managing with the new iPad we gave you for your birthday?”
This clip is spoken in German but it’s totally understandable in any language.
We all took PE ….. And risked permanent injury with a pair of Dunlop sand shoes instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors that cost as much as a small car. I can’t recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.
We got the cane for doing something wrong at school, they used to call it discipline yet we all grew up to accept the rules and to honor & respect those older than us. We had 50 kids in our class and we all learned to read and write, do math and spell almost all the words needed to write a grammatically correct letter……., FUNNY THAT!!
We all said prayers in school irrespective of our religion, sang the national anthem and no one got upset.
Staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention we wish we hadn’t got.
I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself. I just can’t recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations. We weren’t!!
Oh yeah … And where was the antibiotics and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!
We played “King of the Hill” on piles of gravel left on vacant building sites and when we got hurt, mum pulled out the 2/6p bottle of iodine and then we got our backside spanked. Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10 day dose of antibiotics and then mum calls the lawyer to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?
We never needed to get into group therapy and/or anger management classes. We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn’t even notice that the entire country wasn’t taking Prozac!
How did we ever survive?
Living off grid, much of our entertainment is self generated, in other words, we crack ourselves up 🙂 A couple of days ago, this conversation could be heard at the SkyCastle
PB: What is the stuff they make down pillows and blankets from?
Me:… uhhh, down?
PB: No, the material?
Me: Ohhh, I think it’s called ticking…
PB: Yes, I need some clothes made from ticking…
Me: Hahaha, your clothes are ticking…
PB:… but then I couldn’t fly on an airplane…
Guess you had to have been there… 🙂
So today I did a search for “off grid hacks” on YouTube, this video was in the first few that showed up, it’s quite amusing as well as informative. It’s “10 things we wished we had known before going off grid”, they are quite cute with their deadpan faces explaining what some might think of as obvious, though honestly I think these would be “mistakes” many of us would make. My short list of “what I wish we had done differently” will be listed below the video, below…
I agree about carrying water is the worst, maybe not the complete worst, not having water would be worse, it’s what we did the first few months (carrying water) so I can completely understand where they are coming from. Another thing I wish we had known before is how we were going to ultimately use the space inside the SkyCastle. Of course when we first started, we had one room, 16’X16′, it was our everything room, we made the best of the space we had, but I would have liked to better plan the layout instead of it growing so organically.
I wish we could have planned on the storage of our future building materials, we got things here and there, mostly things people were throwing away, over the years it has grown like a weed, we have stacks of this and that here and there, it could be neater.
I also wish we could have planned on the out buildings better, things that were suppose to be temporary end up being more permanent that first planned, this is mentioned in the video about temporary things becoming permanent, that is so true, so don’t build something in a place where you might wish it wasn’t…
I think of the things we brought with us when we first moved out here, we tried to anticipate what things we might not be able to get out here, it’s funny to look back on that, what goes through my mind is “what were we thinking?”, things like empty jars and bottles (with lids), plastic grocery bags, yes grocery bags, we weren’t planning on buying much from the store and figured we could use those extra bags for other things…
Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it 🙂 I certainly don’t regret anything about our life, we have settled into a comfortable routine, living off grid is natural to me, normal, I love it.
Hello, my friend, it’s so wonderful to have you here. Have you ever noticed the trend to idealize all of the Plain folk – that is, the Mennonites, Amish and all associated with them? Admit it, you’ve probably done it (at least a little). Am I right? You know how it goes. If a recipe […]